Wrong Number Threat
1. Dial phone number late at night (past midnight is best).
2. When you hear unfamiliar voice answer, ask “Who is it?”
3. When person who answered the phone asks, “Who are you trying to reach?” DEMAND, “Who is this!?!?”
4. When person who answered the phone asks once again, “Who are you trying to reach?” DEMAND again, “Who the fuck is this!?!?!”
5. When person who answered the phone asks once again, “Who are you trying to reach?” yell at this person “Don’t fuck with me! Who the fuck do you think you are!!??!! I’ll come over there and fuck you up—
6. Hear dial tone, as person has hung up on you.
Optional
1. A week and a half later, dial phone number, and hear unfamiliar-though-now-familiar person answer phone. Pretend that you didn’t threaten this person and say, “I think I got the wrong number,” then hang up.
Brilliant! Might I suggest throwing in a 'motherfucker' or two, perhaps in #5? "I'll fuck you up, motherfucker?" Just a thought...
ReplyDeleteHey Glaucon, That definitely improves the dialogue. If this person calls me back, I will absolutely insist that he amps the threats up this way. He can do better, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, perhaps one should heed Larry's sage advice to Krazy Eyes Killah about not being over-reliant on the f-bomb...
ReplyDelete